You want to lose weight. So you tell everyone in your family hoping you’ll get support. Only to get people saying it’s a waste of time. Don’t bother trying.
You’ve lost 10 kilograms. And then people start asking what kind of diet you’re on and worse, tell you that you’re probably just gonna gain all the weight back.
You’ve lifted your heaviest squat ever. You’re healthiest that you’ve ever been in your whole life. A group of friends you haven’t met said you didn’t look like you lost any.
Ever experienced that?
Well I have. And I’m going to tell you this. There will always be critics. There will always be haters. And there will always be people who tries to bring you down.
Newsflash: I’m a nutritionist. A personal trainer and I still get people saying nasty things every now and then. Which is why, I think this post is important because, my friend, we are going to deal with this and still remain as classy as ever.
HATERS GON’ HATE
First up, I want you to know that there are many different reasons why family and friends are usually the first ones who discourages you in starting a healthier journey.
On the surface it might look like they’re trying to sabotage your efforts and make you change your mind, but at times it could be something else random.
For some of your friends and family, they probably just don’t want you to ‘suffer’ and by suffer I mean they’re probably can’t take the fact that you’re on a diet and you’re restricting yourself from all your favourite foods. In simplest term, they just don’t understand. They might have been exposed to a diet so extreme that they don’t want you to feel the pain. This can be legit, no? People care for you. If you’re about to embark on something super restrictive, you may want to take a step back and rethink your actions too.
But, if you know you’re going to change sustainably, then I’d say some of them can be super selfish too.
Perhaps for these bunch of haters, they’re just trying to make themselves feel better as they’re basking in their own anger, envy and guilt. It’s human to feel jealous knowing that you will succeed and they’re failing, and for some, they can go all out to try and bring you down. Seeing you change your mind and listening to them can simply make them feel better about their failures, and to a certain extent make it seem like their failures is not that bad after all.
SO HOW DO WE DEAL WITH THEM HATERS?
So they’re trying to bring you down and make you change your mind. Are you going to just give in to whatever they say?
No you’re not. And I’m pretty sure you won’t if you’re reading this.
Remember if you’re even thinking about changing your lifestyle, you’ve taken the first step to conquer your fear, which is really the hardest part.
If you have a goal, couple that up with a solid action plan like designing an epic workout, and put whatever those people are saying at the back of your mind.
If that’s not working for you and you’re still finding it hard to deal with difficult people, then let’s figure this out together.
Arguing back and pushing the wave right back at them is fine, and if they make you feel uncomfortable, feel free to make them uncomfortable too. But whatever it is, don’t try to tell them that their opinion is wrong. Not because you’re weak. But because you know it’s better to fight with your brains.
Making them feel inferior will just trigger them to be defensive and probably hate you for making them feel as though they’re a failure. Argue intellectually instead of just blowing mindless words at each other.
JUST SAY “YEAH OK” THREE TIMES AND THEN DEFLECT
You know sometimes someone comes up to you and asks you a million and one questions and you just feel like eating them up alive? Yes, annoying.
Whenever people come up to me with some ideas to try to change my mind about something I’ve been working on for ages, I tend to just agree with their opinions.
Here’s an example:
You: I want to lose weight.
Friend: Oh you can try this detox.
You: Yeah ok.
Friend: What about trying to drink 5 litres of water every day so you remove all the toxins.
You: Yeah ok.
Friend: Maybe you should try not to eat in the day, and only have carbs before you sleep.
You: Yeah ok. Hey, so have you watched the new Wonder Woman? It’s so cool!
Eventually they will stop talking.
I know it would be so much more easier to fight them with all the theories you have in your mind but let me tell you this — the more you argue, the more they will try and convince you that whatever they have in mind is better.
The more you argue, the more you’ll be wasting time, and energy, talking about things that do not matter, things that do not in any way contribute to your mind positively. Agree with them, give them the benefit of the doubt and then move on with something else.
GO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT AND THEN CHANGE THE SUBJECT
If someone asks you if you’re trying to lose weight (or anything else for that matter here), and you know she will try to go against you, one way you can deal with them is to make the answer short, sweet and simple and then change the subject.
Here’s an example:
“So you’re trying to lose weight?”
Your answer: “Yes I am. You know the other day Jen was telling me about…”
If you know you’re going to be hanging around difficult people who doesn’t really care about your fitness goals, prepare some other subjects you can talk about before meeting them. And before you know it, they will forget the initial question they asked and it saves you from explaining, again.
LIE. COUGHS. JUST DON’T TELL THEM EVERYTHING
I know, I know. It’s not good to lie. But let’s just say you really don’t want to hear their harsh opinions. You can just bend the truth a little bit and then forget they asked.
Here’s an example:
“How come you’re not having ice cream tonight?”
Your answer: “I don’t know. Lately my stomach hasn’t been taking ice cream too well.” And then shrug off.
STEP UP AND TELL THE TRUTH, FIRMLY
This is probably the best way to handle them, and it provides you with some sort of an authority too if you can do it right and firmly.
Here’s an example:
“So I heard you’re trying to cut down on processed foods?”
Your answer: “That’s right. I am making a huge effort to start eating better and moving more for my own long term health. I’m not looking for a quick fix and I am very happy with the progress I’m making now.”
For most, that’ll be enough to just shut them up. Step up and beat your fears of confrontation. Speak confidently and you’ll get your message across with pride. They’ll get it.
JUST KEEP GOING
There will always be naysayers. They’re everywhere and it’s just unfortunate that this is how life is. If you’re lucky enough to be surrounded by people who supports your journey, then great. If not, you can deal with them.
Most importantly, smile at whatever they’re saying even though it hurts a little bit and tell yourself that you will show them that you can do it. You’re a strong person and whatever your mind wants, your body can do. You’re not going to settle with whatever the haters are saying because you’re better than that.
Relax, don’t freak out and keep on pushing with what you have set your mind on. And remember, as people get older and age, you will be in the best shape of your life.
Now tell me, what do you normally do when you’re confronted by haters? It doesn’t need to be in a fitness context, even life in general will do. Do you have any tips to share? Let me know in the comments section below and remember, if you need help with anything at all, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll be happy to help.
Have a greaaaatttt weekend, and seriously, you CAN deal with haters.